What's weird is that Audrey II has both spores and flowers.

Scratch that, I guess. It is an alien, after all, and should not be compared to the biology of its terrestial look-alikes.

Would have been fun, though.

 I feel like I should update,
But I haven't much to say.
It's Saturday and getting late,
Yet here at home I lay.

Now, nothing's wrong with staying home
When nothing else is doing.
But feeling like a lazy bum
Is not where trends are going.

The Lady's home and I am glad,
Although her tooth does hurt her.
I want to see her really bad,
But she's mostly in a stupor.

Jessie B in Tampa is,
I got to see her briefly.
I do so sorely miss that Miss,
And she's well, chiefly.

Secrets suck when kept too long -
Eventually you want to share.
I'm seeing a fella, right or wrong.
His name's CW. I like him. There!

Another house, another offer.
But this one I like better.
The bank still has it in its coffer.
And now I wait to get a letter.

Poetry-posting is oh so LJ,
But I've found it rather fun!
I will not do it every day
Unless I'm threatened with a gun.

Surfing CL for giggles is always rewarding, but rarely is it this rewarding:

I've finally thrust myself into adulthood, punctured a small opening in my Peter Pan outlook, forced a bit of my consciousness into recognizing the fact that I am no longer a child.

This morning I signed the final scraps of paperwork making me a homeowner.

If thinking was something I concerned myself with, I would understand how terrifying this is. My grandmothers are so excited, my mother is so glad, my father is so nervous, and they look at me and they must wonder why I'm doing this, as I usually have no reaction whatever when the subject comes up. Luckily I can speak, and when they ask what I'm feeling, I can say, "It's really very exciting, isn't it?"

Of course, it couldn't have happened at a less opportune time. That is a massive exaggeration, but it is a nuisance that my oh-so-adult brother and Katie are coming into town this weekend and will be in town for the week, when I will be busy not just with work, but with house inspections and more paperwork and meetings with bankers. Really, I can't imagine why anybody ever wants to grow up - it's all such a bother!

And, while I am looking forward with almost rabid anticipation to it, my trip to Tallahassee is also going to be overshadowed by this monstrous undertaking. It also means missing out on more time with Paul and Katie.

Further complicating my agendas is a new fellow. But, as is my MO, I will not talk about that.

Scheduling was really bad this month, Father Time. I will be expecting better performance come May.

"Authoritarian, paralyzing, circular, occasionally elliptical stock phrases, also jocularly referred to as nuggets of wisdom, are a malignant plague, one of the very worst to ever ravage the earth. We say to the confused, Know thyself, as if knowing yourself was not the fifth and most difficult of human arithmetical operations, we say to the apathetic, Where there's a will, there's a way, as if the brute realities of the world did not amuse themselves each day by turning that phrase on its head, we say to the indecisive, Begin at the beginning, as if beginning were the clearly visible point of a loosely wound thread and all we had to do was to keep pulling until we reached the other end, and as if, between the former and the latter, we had held in our hands a smooth, continuous thread with no knots to untie, no snarls to untangle, a complete impossibility in the life of a skein, or indeed, if we may be permitted one more stock phrase, in the skein of life."

- José Saramago, The Cave

Two weeks ago: Quidditch x2 at Payne Park. Shortsnouts won both games. I was shocked that I caught the Snitch both games as well.

One week ago: Birthday tattoos with Adelaide. I am pleased with mine and honored by hers.

A few days ago: Adelaide left and my world fell apart, if the world's coherence was measured by my viewing Lost each week. Which I guess it is.

Today: Made an offer on a house I hope to move into someday soon. Did not get my hopes up. Hm.

A few days hence: Counter-offer?

One week hence: ...April?

Two weeks hence: Paul, Katie, and Passover!

Three weeks hence: Sarah and Tallahassee!

Four weeks hence: I will still be waiting for the Lady to get back to SRQ.

Me, curiously:  What is the Shamrock Shake?
Girl, through Speaker, confused: ...What do you mean?
Me, similarly confused: Like, what flavor is it?
Girl, bitchy: Shamrock! [scoffs]
Me, incredulous: ...Huh. Well, I didn't want one anyways.
Me, finished: That's all.

Edit: Why did I capitalize "Speaker?"

From CNN.com:

"As for the origins of kissing, one theory is that kissing evolved as an extension of the way mothers used to feed their children. Early humans, who lacked jars of manufactured baby food, probably chewed up food and directly transferred it from their mouths to the babies', Gallup wrote."

CNN.com, is there no other, less disgusting theory with which you could provide us?

Also, way to miss the beginning of that quotation. Deplorable.

When I was very young, I was plagued by a vision.

They began after my brother and got separate rooms. I would be laying in my bed, drifting off, when the vision would tear into my awareness, filling my head, my room, the universe.

Two terrible orbs or gears or planets or atoms of black and grey, one half the size of the other but both either too large to comprehend or too small to contemplate or both at once, whirled, rotated, and revolved around each other and themselves at paces unimaginably fast and unbearably slow, both streaking and crawling across the void.

The vision would last a moment or a millennium till I would open my eyes, immediately wide awake and terrified beyond reason. I found that sleeping facing a wall stopped the vision from invading, as if it needed the space in the center of the room to gather its horrible momentum. Eventually, slowly, it stopped coming. I suppose my dedication to sleeping facing a wall forced it to move on or shielded my consciousness from its onslaught permanently. Or perhaps I started to take up too much room.

In any case, the terror the vision left in its wake was like nothing I've experienced since. There was another emotion felt when the vision came, felt not in its aftermath but during its visitation. A sense of helplessness, overwhelming and complete impotence. As if the spheres were inexorable and inevitable and more real than life, horrible in their relentless dance.

I'm fairly sure it was after one of the visions that I became aware of death. I can remember the arrangement of furniture in the room, I can recall sitting up in bed, sobbing. I must have cried out because I remember my mother sitting up with me, comforting me. I think I explained that I was scared of dying, but any conversation we may have had is not something I have retained. But this knowledge came from the vision, of that I am nearly certain.

Obviously, the vision can be read in any number of ways, and I will keep my own interpretations to myself.

It is the way of unconfronted fear to grow with the years, and visions can change, too. And as something inexplicable and awesome and lost, it is something I dearly wish I could experience again and fervently hope I never will.

I left to get on LeBarge with mixed feelings. I knew Karen would be there - it was her husband who was comping our Bijou gang onto the boat. And although I do like Karen, I really didn't want to be stuck on a sunset cruise with only her for company. Nicole, Mayela, Pablo, and Joel were also supposed to be in attendance, but I knew most of them had flaked out on plans before. So I was a bit worried when I got into my car to drive to the marina.

But after I parked and started to walk towards the boat with the palm trees growing out of the top of it, decked out in Christmas lights and inflated Santas and Frostys, I saw that at least Nicole was there along with Karen and some other friends of theirs. Soon enough Mayela showed up, and things were looking good. Joel arrived shortly before departure, with an old flame of his, Pia, and her friend Katra, a pair of beautiful Estonian girls. He also brought word that Pablo would not be joining us.

We cast off, sitting on the deck and listening to the guitarist sing that repertoire that seems to be so common among aging Boomer guitarists. Drinks were ordered and we sipped them as the sun set and the wind came up. I had not spent time outside of work with my coworkers before, and we were all having a very nice time of it. But after the sun set and we began our voyage back to the marina, it became to cold to stay on the deck. The guitarist fled below and we all followed.

The drinks had kicked in, and we danced to his coarse voice and slippery strumming. Pole dancing even occurred. Joel told us that he and his Estonian girls were going to 15 South on St. Armand's that night for Salsa night. Mayela, Nicole, and I all agreed we'd meet him there. That wasn't going to happen for a few hours, though, so we split up to get ready.

Mayela called Joel in the interim to tell him that she'd had too much to drink on the cruise and wouldn't be joining us. Joel then called to notify me and make sure I was still going. I decided that I would.

So I met him and Pia and Katra outside of 15 South, where we proceeded upstairs, crossed the dance floor, where couples were already dancing, and to the far corner of the bar. Soon enough it became apparent that Nicole was also not joining us. But the four of us were a good set. We stayed in our corner for a while, scoping out the floor, trying to pick up moves half-forgotten or never seen before, trying them out in miniature behind our stools. Pia is also a dancer, and even though she and Joel were clearly smitten with each other, we were the first to brave the floor. As most first partnerings are, it was a clumsy and delightful affair.

More drinks gave Joel the confidence to dance with Pia, leaving Katra and me in our corner. I was somewhat nervous because I didn't know what she expected from me. But soon she mentioned her husband, which immediately put me at ease. We chatted pleasantly until the other two came back. Joel and I both tried getting Katra to dance, but she would not. She'd only just danced Salsa for the first time the night before. Soon Pia and I returned to the floor, and this time was much smoother and much more fun.

After another round, Pia and Joel went to dance again. Soon thereafter Katra said she wanted to dance once they came back. But she had it in her and couldn't wait, so we went to the floor, where we didn't see our companions. But we did dance. Katra followed, because she was unsure of what to do. Fortunately, after dancing with Pia and figuring out different combinations, I was able to teach her. And she was a very good student, and had a bit of a natural in her. After every turn I gave her, and she didn't miss one, she started back up on the right step every time. I was clearly impressed and this made her very happy. She was so proud of herself that when Joel and Pia finally returned from their absence, we went to dance again so they could watch. But they had been distracted by the arrival of Lawrence, an old friend of Joel's whom he hadn't been expecting. So Katra and I did a little show-and-tell in our little corner.

Lawrence suggested we go downstairs and grab a pizza. We all agreed that that was a good idea, so down we went. After the pizzas, Lawrence felt like playing a bit of piano, so he asked and was granted permission. Apparently a bit of a prodigy, he's pretty good at transferring what he hears onto the keyboard and has a superb memory for pieces. He had played several short classical pieces when the woman sitting behind him said she wanted to go out to her car to get her violin so they could play together. They did. They both knew two pieces that they played together, and workshopped several others, when she'd play and call out chords for him to play. But he didn't know many songs, and soon enough she was playing alone, then she'd include Lawrence, then he'd drop out again.

Pia got to talking to another woman at the violinist's table, because they were also European, judging by the violinist's accent. She found that they were Russian, and she was speaking with the violinist's mother. Who had been trained in the opera in St. Petersburg. She urged the woman to sing, and she did, while her daughter accompanied her on the violin. After a few songs, Carmen was suggested, and Lawrence leapt behind the piano again, and the three of them filled the little restaurant with music beautiful in its confluence.

It was a perfect finale, and it came at the perfect time. The impromptu concert had lasted well over an hour and 15 South should have been closing up. But the bar was full and several tables were still seated. The employees were watching, too, just as amazed as the rest of us.

It was the kind of evening when everything is beautiful.

It may sound... conceited?... but I discovered that I very much identify with BNL's Jane. It's also pretty sad.

I don't know what happened to me at work this week, but I became very, very dumb. Just forgetting or screwing up several little things here and there. It might have been the five shifts in a row I pulled Monday through Wednesday, but that sounds like an excuse, not a choice. Friday night a woman slumped over into her food and we had to get her an ambulance. It was really quite terrifying.

Um. Nothing else, really. Remind me again why people like Donnie Darko?

Alright, I haven't updated in almost three months, so I have to play some catch-up here.

Work is good. Customers are crazy. Had my first walk-out the other night because I nicely asked a woman to use her cellphone elsewhere. Funny stuff. My coworkers are cool, even though whenever they make plans to go out they always fall through. Still like them, though.

Adelaide is fantastic. I've been spending lots of time with her and I love it! Recently been branching out to bars besides the Cabana, which is fun. We've also been seeing a fair bit of Johnny lately, which is really great.

Started seeing a boy a little bit ago, name of Kevin, and it's going well. Trying not to sabotage it because he's really great. He's nice, into theatre, and plays video games! I should be in love with him but I'm so not. We'll see.

A few weeks ago went to DC to go to my cousin Sarah's wedding to her longtime girlfriend Christine. It was beautiful. They both wore gowns with full trains and both looked stunning. It was great. And good to see that side of the family and Paul and Katie. Everyone's doing well.

What else? I dunno. Maybe I'll update again sometime. Who knows?

"Gay Paree" from the film Victor/Victoria
- music by Henry Mancini, lyrics by Leslie Bricusse

Toddy:

When people speak of gay Paree,
They think that when they say Paree is gay,
They mean that gay Paree is gay!
It is!

Not in the way Paree
Was gay in yesterday Paree.
It means today that gay Paree is gay.
Not that gay.

They say Paree has always been that way.

Along the banks of the Seine
Just take a walk now and then.
You'll meet some interesting men:
Gay Paree.

Along the Rue Madeleine
Each evening 'round about ten
You'll see it time and time again:
Gay Paree.

If you've a soirée to spare
Go to the Folies Bergère
You'll see such gaiety there!
C'est la vie.

Around the Rue des Beaux-Arts
Where all the cabaret shows are
I mean, well, really, those are,
You'll agree:

What they mean when they say "gay" Paree.

The Faubourg Saint-Honoré,
Where all the millionaires play,
Is also, I'm so glad to say,
Gay Paree.

The Rue de Rivoli arcades,
Where fancy goods are displayed,
There's also bound to be rough trade.
Gay Paree.

And in l'arrondissement eight,
The Champs Élysées I would rate
Perhaps the one thing that's straight
As can be.

And at the Café de la Paix,
If you are heading that way,
They drink a toast every day
Around three.

They make each moment as gay
As le quatorze juillet!

That's what they mean
When they say "gay Paree!"

Wonderful things that happen on the phone at work:

The phone's caller ID displays the last name first. Today I got a call from
-LAWLESS MIKE-
which was cool enough, because what an amazing sobriquet that would be. But later I was overcome with glee when
-LANE MARY-
called me up. Then she even said, "This is Mary Lane." I nearly died.

Anyway.

Someone has requested that I put down my reactions to TLM3. My response? Gladly.

It was actually pretty good. Much much better than TLM2, but, of course, not anywhere nearly as good TLM1. The plot was good, the animation was of a surprising quality, and the music was okayish, I guess.

Warning: The following is TOO LONG! Don't bother.

( Read more... )

I downloaded TLM2 and have to watch that again soon.

But I also have to watch Gossip Girl. And Lost. And Grey's Anatomy. Damn it all!

Um, is anyone else struck by the resemblance between Michelle Obama and Sigourney Weaver?

It makes me like Barack so much more. Let's not even talk about how much I fell in love with Michelle.

I keep trying to find pictures to illustrate my point, but can't. I'll continue my search until I can.

Spotted: A having a private mini-marathon of a certain CW hit. Will it be the start of a new romance or simply a one-night stand? Only time will tell... Unless I get the scoop first.

xoxo
Gossip Girl

Oh, ABC Family! In addition to the normal cuss-covering (including "effing" and other such innocuous terms), you somehow found it necessary to delete or edit the following things from one of the most perfect movies ever. I speak, of course, of Mean Girls.

- little home school freak doesn't talk about God inventing that rifle to fight the homosexuals (but Damian still "too gay to function")
- Ms. Norbury doesn't ask Cady if her sweater was stuck to her shirt, and then the business with Cady helping her unstick them doesn't happen (but the shirt was still see-through, she still mentioned it, and it was still ogled by Mr. Duval)
- no sex positions are discussed in sex ed.
- Regina doesn't ask if Cady wants to have sex with Jason
- Gretchen's line about Regina being devastated when Aaron broke up with her is gone (this cut made the surrounding lines almost nonsensical)
- the Chihuahua doesn't bite Regina's mom's nipple and, thus, the lines covering this action are gone
- "dyke" is not said and it isn't written in the book - instead, Gretchen says "freak" and Janis' page in the book just says "Janis Ian" then a big blank spot with an arrow below it pointing to her photo
- Gretchen doesn't ask about Jason at Aaron's Halloween party
- no mention of Regina's nose job
- Kevin's smack-the-ass move during the line in his rap about the bathroom floor is not shown - instead the camera shows a pretty nice view looking down from high up at the back of the stage
- Jason's line about Cady being hot, maybe hotter than Regina George is gone
- Janis says Regina has nice hair instead of noticing her big jugs due to her weight gain
- Janis does not say Cady smells like a baby prostitute
- Aaron doesn't get philosophical about there being good and bad in everybody and that Regina is more up-front about it
- Regina's mom mouths "a condom?" but no sound comes out
- at the end of the four-way call, Regina gives a drawn-out "Booo" then just hangs up
- there are no strangers coming to Cady's door during her party
- Regina does not say "mother" before spitting out the Kalteen
- Regina doesn't say "she is a fugly slut" (but Mr. Duval does say "...call herself a fugly?")
- not only are the STIs not spoken of, they aren't written on the chalkboard
- no "Oh crap, my hair!"
- nothing about tampons, super-jumbo or otherwise
- no "Suck on that!"
- Kevin ripping his shirt open is sorely missing
- Janis doesn't joke with Cady about her still being an asshole

Other interesting notes:
"Bitch" and "bitchy" were always changed to "witch" and "witchy", but "biotch" was left alone. "Slut" and "whore" were always edited over, and at one point "Barbie doll" was used. However, "skank" was still said and shown written on screen. In what might have been an actual improvement, Trang Pak and Sun Jin Dihn call each other "liars" instead of "sluts."

On the whole, it was a very fun watch. But most of the things didn't make sense. I think a lot of the cuts were made in the name of length, and I guess that makes sense, but cutting some cusses and not others, some sexual references being nixed and others staying in just didn't jive. Whatevs, mostly it was an experiment in what I could notice was missing. I did spot-check with a transcription of the script online, but I wasn't following along or anything, and I think I caught everything.

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH KNOWING A MOVIE THAT WELL NOTHING

I haven't updated since London! I'm an awful person, I know. I wrote some entries I intend to post and backdate, but we'll see.

It was strange coming back. The first week back from England were spent in New England, oddly enough, visiting the various friends and relations up there. Saw Christina, my cousin who's getting married to her girlfriend in a few months, and Top Girls, along with all the other normal New England things.

But it was strange. First of all, for that first week or two, the time spent in Europe felt like a dream. I had a hard time believing that it had all happened. Not that anything unbelievable really happened, but it was such a fantastic, perfect time that it was unreal.

The other odd but wonderful thing was readjusting to the economy. When I first went over, Everyone was doubling the prices they saw to determine what it cost their actual bank accounts. By the end of the six weeks, nobody did it any more, so it was very odd when my parents came over and did the same thing. But since I'd become so used to it, even that reminder didn't bring the old habit back.

Getting back to the states, the first thing I spent any sort of money on was mailing my huge suitcase home, which cost sixty bucks. In my brain, before I could think, I justified the expense to myself thusly: "Well, it's only thirty [English] pounds." I walked around with a goofy smile on the rest of the day.

I still am reminded of my old roomies every once in a while, especially Cordelia. I can't wait to visit. Also, can't wait to visit Sarah. Talking with her on the phone makes me realize how much I miss her! Come back to Sarasota! NOW.

Otherwise, I've been having a terrific time hanging out with Adelaide and Jessica. Duh. And seeing my family is great. But I need to move out. So I need a job. I really want the admissions job at Ringling College I applied for, but I'm not holding out any hope. Searching for actual, real jobs is so much worse than anything else ever.

And that's been my life for the past month.

This past weekend, Brett and his sister Audrey were in town, so I hung out with them for basically the whole time. We did a pub crawl with the flat and hit up Portobello Market, which was amazing. Last night was a three hour fire alarm, so I sat in Border's and read. Bel Canto is seriously one of the best books I've ever read. And don't get me started on Ann Patchett's writing. I started crying during a scene that lasted three pages about a character that doesn't appear in the book after the first fifth of it. I can't get over it.

London is fabulous. End of story.

I mean, not at all the end of story, but for today it is.

The other day there was a program "excursion" to Shakespeare's Globe, which was really interesting.

Some of the things I learned included:
- parts or roles were assigned to actors only a few days before a performance
- they were called "parts" because only relevant portions of plays were given to the actors (only the three words before their line and then their line)
- they were called "roles" because these play sections were rolled up into scrolls
- plays were rehearsed for, at most, the three hours immediately preceding performance -- this is even more shocking when you think about the length of Shakespeare's plays
- because the parts given to actors only had their lines and the three words before, listening was very important for stage direction, action, and emotion - they didn't even know who said the cues
- the three-line cues could not be repeated ever in the entire play in the same order, for obvious reasons
- plays were rarely repeated -- never twice in the same week... I want to say the most a play was performed was twelve times in eighteen months, but I could have that horribly wrong

We also saw a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was quite good. I find it hard to watch at times because I simply cannot stand the character of Bottom. I hate people like him, and I know that's the point, but I just have a hard time dealing with it. But the scene where the players put on the show for the couples was absolutely amazing. In that scene, Bottom was perfect. He was even cracking up the actors playing the couples.

I mean, I know it wasn't the real Globe, but there was still something so magical about it. Our program had tickets for the yard, which meant we were standing for the entire show, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was great.